its change.

its becoming summer, that's kinda sad. seasons changing is a sad thing, anything becoming the past is sad actually. i love the weather but its not what it use to be. i mean the way things use to be. everyone has changed along with everything else. i want it all back. i want everything to go back to the way it was because i was happy. and yes i am just thinking about my self but who am i suppose to think about? what good has thinking about anyone else done me? i cant remember the last time i was genially happy. i wish i could say it was with my newest boyfriend but its not. i cant exactly be happy. happiness is a feeling when everything is going good when you feel the most alive, but i don't feel alive i feel empty and alone. fuck maybe that's a jealousy septum? well i am jealous, i cant stop being jealous.